Comment Wall

Comment Wall:

(Image Information: Michael Scott "Top of the Mornin'", Amino)



 My Storybook.

Comments

  1. Hello Ann Marie,
    I really enjoyed reading your introduction. Your use of florid vocabulary really added more to your story and I think that your style of writing is great. It's very descriptive and I can easily visualize the characters and their demeanor. The formatting of the story also goes well to help the reader easily follow along with the back-and-forth dialogue between the characters. The drama between the two is clear from their banter and sass with each other. I'm excited to read more of your story and see where it continues from here. The only suggestion I would make, would to be to maybe add more to your story to explain the background a bit more than what we can infer from the dialogue. I think that establishing a setting with a clearer direction would help the story flow better. I'm sure that once you continue with part 2 (and more parts in the future), that this issue will be solved though. Also, I had trouble getting to your comment wall from your website, you might want to check the link again just to make sure it'll send readers to the right place, though this may just be an issue on my end :)

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  2. Anna Marie, Wow! You really have a knack for storytelling. Your introduction was very engaging and utilized dialogue perfectly to let the audience in on the personalities of each of your characters! You used so much detail and I felt like I was there observing your characters in person! I also like that you are writing about Ravana and his life alongside his siblings s there is so much to tell! I am really looking forward to reading more about what these siblings get up to! One point I really liked in your introduction was when Shurpanakah messed with Ravana and he gets upset. This relationship between the two is so characteristic of what it is like having a sibling lol. It is nice how you brought seemingly everyday brother and sister interactions to the world of Ravana! Keep up the good work and I can not wait to read more of your wonderful stories!!

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  3. Hi Ann Marie!

    Wow, I was blown away by the description you included in this story. I really love the characters and attitudes that you gave Ravana and Shurpanahka because it kept me super invested in the story.
    In this story, I think it would be helpful to include more information as to where the story is going to be headed. I know that you mentioned that this will be a story about Ravana and his siblings living together in a palace and that the siblings are supposed to be meeting up in the library, but I'm still curious as to what shenanigans these siblings will get into and where the story could possibly go from here. Also, props to you for writing a story that continues from section to section as I think that it may prove to be difficult to have an arching story like that. I'm very interested in where you will take this story though!
    Good job!

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  4. Hello Ann Marie! First I would like to address the gif at the beginning of your comment wall.... pure genius.
    Reading your story, I realized that I am a terrible writer compared to you. You had such a strong and vivid vocabulary that spoke by itself in your writing. The attention to detail and imagination in your story was incredible to see. You could have done a better job setting up the introduction to the plot. It was easy to follow because I knew the original story and knew the plotline. You could experiment with different dialogue between characters, maybe changing the setting halfway through. There are numerous different directions this story could go. You can most definitely build on this story. I am quite curious to see where the brothers end up and maybe even make a bigger impact on Ravana in the future. Overall this was a great story, and keep up the great work.

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  5. Hello Ann Marie,
    I had a great time reading your blog and learning new techniques of writing a story and narration. I like the detail in your stories and I appreciate the time you've taken to make your own adjustments. I would recommend using more dialogues but that's totally up to the style you want to use. Looking forward to see more on your blog!

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