Comment Wall

Comment Wall:

(Image Information: Michael Scott "Top of the Mornin'", Amino)

 My Storybook.


  1. Hello Ann Marie,
    I really enjoyed reading your introduction. Your use of florid vocabulary really added more to your story and I think that your style of writing is great. It's very descriptive and I can easily visualize the characters and their demeanor. The formatting of the story also goes well to help the reader easily follow along with the back-and-forth dialogue between the characters. The drama between the two is clear from their banter and sass with each other. I'm excited to read more of your story and see where it continues from here. The only suggestion I would make, would to be to maybe add more to your story to explain the background a bit more than what we can infer from the dialogue. I think that establishing a setting with a clearer direction would help the story flow better. I'm sure that once you continue with part 2 (and more parts in the future), that this issue will be solved though. Also, I had trouble getting to your comment wall from your website, you might want to check the link again just to make sure it'll send readers to the right place, though this may just be an issue on my end :)

  2. Anna Marie, Wow! You really have a knack for storytelling. Your introduction was very engaging and utilized dialogue perfectly to let the audience in on the personalities of each of your characters! You used so much detail and I felt like I was there observing your characters in person! I also like that you are writing about Ravana and his life alongside his siblings s there is so much to tell! I am really looking forward to reading more about what these siblings get up to! One point I really liked in your introduction was when Shurpanakah messed with Ravana and he gets upset. This relationship between the two is so characteristic of what it is like having a sibling lol. It is nice how you brought seemingly everyday brother and sister interactions to the world of Ravana! Keep up the good work and I can not wait to read more of your wonderful stories!!

  3. Hi Ann Marie!

    Wow, I was blown away by the description you included in this story. I really love the characters and attitudes that you gave Ravana and Shurpanahka because it kept me super invested in the story.
    In this story, I think it would be helpful to include more information as to where the story is going to be headed. I know that you mentioned that this will be a story about Ravana and his siblings living together in a palace and that the siblings are supposed to be meeting up in the library, but I'm still curious as to what shenanigans these siblings will get into and where the story could possibly go from here. Also, props to you for writing a story that continues from section to section as I think that it may prove to be difficult to have an arching story like that. I'm very interested in where you will take this story though!
    Good job!

  4. Hello Ann Marie! First I would like to address the gif at the beginning of your comment wall.... pure genius.
    Reading your story, I realized that I am a terrible writer compared to you. You had such a strong and vivid vocabulary that spoke by itself in your writing. The attention to detail and imagination in your story was incredible to see. You could have done a better job setting up the introduction to the plot. It was easy to follow because I knew the original story and knew the plotline. You could experiment with different dialogue between characters, maybe changing the setting halfway through. There are numerous different directions this story could go. You can most definitely build on this story. I am quite curious to see where the brothers end up and maybe even make a bigger impact on Ravana in the future. Overall this was a great story, and keep up the great work.

  5. Hello Ann Marie,
    I had a great time reading your blog and learning new techniques of writing a story and narration. I like the detail in your stories and I appreciate the time you've taken to make your own adjustments. I would recommend using more dialogues but that's totally up to the style you want to use. Looking forward to see more on your blog!

  6. Hi Ann Marie, I'm really thrilled to see that you chose a story based on the demons. Most stories involve Rama or people related to him so this subject is a breath of fresh air. Also, I really like the gif you posted on your wall. Your dialogues were really easy to follow and it made it really easy to engage in the story. I only wish that there were more to the story. You seem to have only written the introduction so far and there isn't an author's note either. I hope to come back later and see more stories, because the introduction is pretty amazing so far!

  7. Hi, Ann Marie,
    Your story book was very nice to look at, I enjoyed seeing your cover page and reading your introduction. I think that your story has really strong imagery- and it makes your story really easy to read and to visualize in my head as I read, I think that it really helps to capture the energy of your characters! I look forward to reading more of your stories, as I am sure they will be rich like this one was!

  8. Yo Ann Marie! I think your talent for story telling is really seeping through in your posts! I really love the use of description that you seem to have a knack for. Also, the characterization you give to characters like Ravana and Shurpanahka really get me more invested than anything else. Whenever I can gauge a character by what type of personality they have, that is when I can truly get invested in their motivations and what they are doing, and I think you nailed this whole concept in your entire project!

  9. Hi Ann Marie,
    I really liked how your story "Battle Plan" explores the relationships between the siblings! My favorite part is when Shurphanaka sasses Ravana in a way that is just subtle enough to keep her from getting in trouble---a skill finely honed by most children with siblings! I also felt that your portrayal of Vibhishana was very thoughtful. Although we might perceive him as a protagonist in the original story of the Ramayana, his brothers would probably see him as a traitor, as you point out in the author's note. Your story preserves the characteristics that make him a protagonist in the original, while portraying them in a negative light (he comes off as pretentious and self-righteous) so that our sympathies lie with his siblings.
    Your author's note gives a really good summary of the backstories of each of the siblings and the general causes of their enmity with Rama. I liked how the information you provide about the siblings' past helps explain many aspects of their personalities in your story.

  10. Hi Ann Marie,
    I really enjoyed reading your stories and going through your storybook as I could not help but notice how talented you are in really bringing the stories alive! The characters such as Ravana and Shurpanahka was so well portrayed and your descriptions are creative and awesome. One improvement I would suggest is that you could be more creative coming up the introduction to the plot. It was easy to follow because I knew the original story and knew the plotline. You could experiment with different dialogue between characters, maybe changing the setting halfway through. Overall, your storybook was amazing to follow and the Michael Scott gif is always a plus!

  11. Hello Ann Marie,
    I was impressed by your blog the first time and decide to revisit it. Great development on your writing style, while you had a solid narration in the first place. You've incorporated dialogues at specific places and it works for the writing. I would suggest taking a bit more freedom while writing and adding in your own elements. You could mention this in your author's notes. Overall, it is a great improvement since the last time I was here. Michael Scott ftw !!!


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